That’s what I’ve been feeling these past months.
I want to go home, but I want to stay here. I want to be with my family, but I worry the people that I will leave. I want to do a lot of things for my family, but I don’t know where and how to start. Frustrations everywhere, sometimes I just don’t know what to think.
There are times that I feel that I am incapable of doing my job effectively because of the level of Japanese I know. Frustrations abound, not on my career but on communication. They said that I am being given a very good opportunity, that my skills are validated by the amount of responsibilities that they are giving me. I am thankful for that, but with it comes greater pressure to “understand” them more. I still have a lot to learn, not only in the business and in my work, but more so, in the language.
I want to go, and I want to stay. If only there is a way to make things easier.. Or maybe I just need to pray, and pray more.